Heavy Heart

Last night was the first decent amount of exercise I’ve gotten in two weeks. I did some jump roping. I wasn’t sure how well I’d do considering it was last summer when I jump roped last. My first try was about 37 skips so I was pretty impressed. Jump roping isn’t easy, especially when my feet hurt so much as it is. Throw this flabby tummy in and it just is uncomfortable. I’m sure I will have some bruises. I think I did about 5 or 6 sets of as many skips as I could. My heart was definitely pounding. After that, my daughter and I went for a little bike ride. We did just about 4 miles. It was already nearing darkness so we didn’t want to be gone too long. The ride was enjoyable and helped me feel better physically somewhat. Prior to this, I was feeling quite lazy and quite crabby too.


Later in the evening, I started to miss and think about all my loved ones that have passed; my mom, my dad, my father in law, my grandparents and great-grandparents. My heart was so heavy. My dad and my father in law both still have a Facebook page so I posted something to their walls. I was crying like crazy and releasing some emotion for sure. Of course, Heidi who was the most recent death and one that hit so incredibly hard. I’m the type that with each death I’ve experienced I analyze and try to figure out the lesson I’m supposed to gain from this. Why was Heidi taken at such a young age? She was 46 at time of death (March 6), but would turn 47 on March 17. I don’t know if this helps me, but at times it seems to. I’ve read that there are 10 stages of grief. Right now, I feel as though I’m all over the board. My heart is somewhere in every stage. I’m not sure if that makes sense. But with my dad’s death still quite recent, that brought back emotions of my mom’s death and now Heidi’s death really has shaken and stirred my world so much. In memory of Heidi, I will be participating in a local MS walk in May.

My heart remains so heavy and I am beginning to think that’s why my weight has gone up and isn’t going down so much; well that and the lack of exercise, the emotions, etc.

I am trying to be strong. I am putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. It is not easy some days.

Peace. Love. Smiles

Beautiful Day!

Today was an absolutely perfect day.  The weather was picture perfect..I was so grateful.

I started the day by doing some Wii Fit Plus activities – about 1/2 hour worth.  Boy did some of those yoga moves hurt!  I did my best though. I got rather excited when my scoring indicated “Yoga Trainer” on a couple of activities and “Body Builder” on another.  I got a good little chuckle out of that. The last time I used the Wii was late July and I’ve lost just over 10 lbs since (according to the Wii).  I’m happy with that.

Another excellent thing happened today.  I went for my very first motorcycle ride…well in at least 20 years anyway.  I’ve always been too heavy and too scared.  Today, I went out and I’m not going to say I wasn’t nervous at first, but I have to admit it was pretty cool.  My husband was excited too.  He even said we could do a Fall color tour on the bike.  Not sure I’m ready for such a long ride like that yet. I was a little sore after the ride, perhaps because I was a bit tense at first.  But it was incredible to see nature and things from a different view.   Like I said already, the weather was perfect.

I weighed in this morning and was 173 lbs. That’s down 1.5 pounds this past week. I’ll take it!

Another week of work starts tomorrow. I can’t believe the weekend is nearly done already.  But it was a great weekend – I can’t complain.

You know, I’ve gone through quite a bit in my weight loss journey; but I’ve have to say that I believe – in the words of Miley Cyrus – Life is what you make it!

♥ Dottie

Sad News

I received word on Friday that my cousin's husband Jeremy was killed in an automobile accident. He was only 30. My heart aches for her and the three boys they had together. I found the article online in the Sweetwater Reporter. I've copied the text. See below.

Two killed in crash Friday
Written by Staff Reports
Monday, 09 June 2008
Two people were killed in a two-vehicle crash shortly after noon Friday in southern Nolan County, according to the Department of Public Safety.
The victims were identified as Roberto Gutierrez Jr., 36, of Temple, and Jeremy Simon Beimers, 31, of Killeen. Both were pronounced dead at the scene by Justice of the Peace Sharon Gardner about an hour after the crash occurred on Highway 153.
According to the DPS, Gutierrez was driving a 2007 Saturn vehicle that was southbound on the highway when he drove off the roadway and skidded back onto the pavement. The car then collided with an 18-wheeler that had been traveling north on the highway.
Beimers was a passenger in the Saturn vehicle.
The truck was driven by Phillip Dewayne Noey, 41, of Lubbock while his son, Orin, was a passenger in the vehicle. Neither of them was injured.
The crash is being investigated by DPS trooper William Wheat. He was assisted by other troopers, as well as the Sweetwater Fire Department and the Nolan County Sheriff's Office, according to the DPS.

Easter has Passed

Can you believe it? Easter is now behind us already. We cooked dinner at our house and had our neighbors over. I did okay with my eating...sort of. You may be thinking that my weakness was the chocolate candy, but no... I did fine with the candy. I had a small Bit O Honey and a Rolo. Not bad. My weakness was the shrimp cocktail. Holy my goodness, I lost it. I can't even tell you how many little shrimps I ate. Talk about an addiction! At dinner, I had a slice of ham, a scoop of augratin potatoes and a scoop of green bean casserole. Not too bad... Oh! I also had a slice of wheat beer bread. Later before bed, I indulged in some carrot cake and glass of milk. I guess you could say I splurged a bit yesterday. Do I feel bad...actually I really don't. I may have splurged, but I didn't eat anywhere near the amount I used to eat in the past. So I know I've improved. After dinner we played a game called Cranium: Sculpturade. That was interesting, but fun. You draw a card from the pile to see what you have to sculpt out of the clay and your team mates have to guess it. We played adults against the kids. The kids were much better at sculpting...but we all did well. We had fun and that's what is most important.

So how was your day? Did you have fun?

♥ Dottie

4 Golden Rules

I did not get to see the show "I Can Make You Thin" that I've been hearing a lot about, but I did check out the website so I could see what these golden rules were.

When I read through them, I learned that they're not anything I haven't heard before.

1. When you're hungry, EAT
2. Eat what you want, not what you think you should.
3. Eat Consciously and enjoy every mouthful.
4. When you think you're full, STOP eating.

Don't they seem so simple? Of course I'm going to eat when I'm hungry. Unfortunately many of us emotional eaters also eat when we're NOT hungry. Eating what I want sounds pretty good doesn't it. I'll have that cheeseburger, fries and donut for desert. I'm not full yet...lets keep going! ha ha. Honestly, items 1 and 4, I think are similar to what I've heard from others that did the Weigh Down plan through their church. Item 3 is what my husband was told after he had gastric bypass surgery. Eat slowly putting your fork down between each bite and chew atleast 20 times. This gives time for your brain to realize your no longer hungry and helps avoid the over eating.

All of this got me thinking this morning as I was driving to work. I visioned some of the pictures of my great, great grandparents and others from the past and you know...not one of them were fat. None of them. So...obesity is not very old at all. And, God did not make us fat. Man made us fat by all the inventions of convenience (like the microwave) and quick fix box meals, etc. Families of days gone by grew their own food, worked the fields (exercise), ate when they were hungry. And, did emotional eating even exist back then? Why did that start? I found myself quite intrigued by all of my thoughts. I started to think...wow several years from now my distant family members will be looking back at old photos and see a lot of fat people. Yea, that is something to be proud of huh? Not! So, while I don't have a farm or fields to plow and don't grow my own food I think one of my goals is to starting thinking outside the box when it comes to eating. Convenience is nice when it comes to time...but the only thing it's done for me is added poundage. I'm going to make an effort to eat more natural foods that I would find growing in the fields. That way, I can control the amount of salt that goes in it. I'll be much better off. I want my distant family members to look back and be proud of their heritage as I am of mine. The obesity cycle in my family stops here and now with me!! I can do this!!

If I don't make it back to the blog before Sunday - Happy Easter to all. Enjoy the time with your loved ones. Please don't beat yourself up if you choose to enjoy a little candy or some other treat on Easter. It's better to enjoy one piece than forbid yourself of it and risk an all out binge some other time. It happens.

♥ Dottie