Things to Think About

Hi there. Did you think I fell off the face of the earth?

Well, the good news is – not completely. The bad news is…I’ve gained weight back and have been dealing with some mild depression again. I’m back to feeling like my job stinks, which makes going difficult. I also have been having knee pain which is limiting me in activity and I believe is part of the reason for gaining weight back. I’m back up to 362. I’m really quite frustrated. I did get an MRI and had a visit with a orthopedic specialist; however, bottom line is there is nothing that can be done right now. I’m too heavy!! Can I just cry now? On top of that, my father in law passed away last Tuesday.

How did I deal with all this? Well, I went to an orientation to learn more about the various weight loss surgeries that are available. I have never been one to really opt for surgery, but I think I’m to a point where I feel like it’s the best route. It’s my hope that by getting some weight off rather quickly will help the knee and allow me to be more active. My husband had the Roux En Y Gastric Bypass surgery in 2002 and he did very well. So I went to the same place for orientation. My insurance will cover it. There will be some out of pocket costs, but hopefully not too terribly much. I’m quite nervous of course and I keep praying for guidance in this decision. I tell myself that yes there is a risk, but isn’t there a risk with living at my present weight as well? I’m not sure which surgery will be right for me. I know one that I won’t do is the lap band. But the others that are available aside from the Gastric Bypass are the sleeve and the Duodenal Switch. I still need to do some researching. One site I will visit is Obesity Help

The journey is just beginning again…I pray that this is the right road. Right now…I feel like it is.

Update - Post Thanksgiving

Hope everyone had a blessed Thanksgiving. Mine was enjoyable. We cooked and had family here for dinner. Given the holiday where food is a big theme, I really expected to see some gain this week. However, when I weighed myself yesterday morning...I was so close to my first goal of a 10 lb. loss. My actual weight was 391. Just one more pound and I'm there. T.O.M. decided to show up today so I'm not sure how well my next weigh-in will go. I seem to gain a pound or so during that time.

I'm pleased with how I've done, but after watching Montel Williams on Friday, I began to doubt that I could really get to my ultimate goal on my own. The topic was on morbid obesity and he had a couple doctors there (father and son team) from the TV Show Big Medicine. I've seen the show and the results that some people have had are amazing. I just don't know that I want to have the surgery without giving a really good try on my own. I've done weight watchers and lots of other diets before, but I can't say as though I really gave it the good try then because I gave up before 6 months or so. I didn't have the drive then. I was younger and didn't think about a whole lot. But now... my mentality on lots of things has changed. My mom's passing as well as other family members has touched me in so many ways. I'm 36 and have two wonderful daughters. I really want to be around for a long time. I want to see my grandchildren grow should I be blessed with them. My husband did have gastric bypass surgery and he went from 430 lbs. to about 220. He looked great. However, after it got to the point where he could eat regular food again... he began to struggle and has now actually gained some of the weight back. It was like the surgery helped him lose the weight, but it didn't help him change his attitude toward the food... his actual mind set, etc. I'm not saying the surgery is bad because it's certainly a god send for those patients that are bedridden. I actually wish I would've have known about these two doctors back when my mom was alive. Maybe they actually would've taken the risk to do the surgery on her. Who knows.

As for me... I'm giving the good old lifestyle change a good effort. I'll be reporting back here and sharing any other good tidbits I find along the way.

Let's go losers!! Keep on keepin' on.