The last month (at least), I've been feeling down and I don't know why. I'm not able to explain it. I don't understand it. Every now and then, I would just sit and cry. I couldn't bring myself to get on the scale either; hence the reason I haven't been on here in a while. Well... I just weighed myself and disappointed to report that I have gained. I'm back up to 349. Not cool. I just wish I knew what the deal is. A few months back, I was feeling so good. I was in great moods and everything. Things seemed to finally be looking up and then....something happened. I derailed. Pretty hard it seems. I still want to cry. What I need to do those is get this big fat caboose back up and hooked up to the train and get back on track.
I've been trying to evaluate things to see if I can figure out why I've been feeling the way I do and I just haven't figured it out. I'm quite frustrated about it. I recently signed up for a Disciple class at church. It starts on September 13. I'm hoping that becoming stronger spiritually will help. At times, I find myself really missing my mom and my grandparents. Seeing them, hugging them talking to them and hearing their laughter. I look at my kids and see how fast they are growing and I get scared of the time when they are both out of high school and out on their own. My life has been all about them. I love them so much and it seems so weird to think of them out on their own. I'm so emotional. It's so hard for me to think more about myself. I think that is part of my problem too. I've always put focus on the others (my husband or kids, my work, everything....but me). I find it hard to put so much thought into myself. Why is that? Does it stem from my poor self esteem that I've dealt with since childhood? Can I not get away from that awful nickname my dad use to call me (Porky). Do I feel a need somewhere deep within to live up to that nickname? Why do I have such a difficult time seeing that I'm a child of God and worth so much? I'm really hoping the Disciple class will help in many ways.
It's really no fun being so sad feeling. Time is flying so fast. I really need to start enjoying this blessing that is my life. With that I'll be saying a prayer...for myself as well.
I hope that you are doing better than I have been doing.
God Bless
♥ Dottie
8 comments:
((Big Hugs)) I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down Dottie, but remember that it won't last, and that you still have a lot of weight off. You are doing great. Sometimes life throws us lemons, but now it's time to make some lemonade! Have fun in your upcoming class and remember you are worth the effort!!
Hang in there Dottie! You have still lost 36 pounds that is awesome! Just get back on track....you can do it.
Try going for a walk outside and soak up some vit D. If you are lacking vit. D, it will lift your mood. Actually doing any areobic exercise will help you feel better.
Praying for you.
Oh Dottie -- I'm reaching out across cyberspace to give you a big hug. I'm so sorry that you have been feeling down. Do you think it could be the end of summer? I know that thought really affects my mood, too. Or the beginning of the new school year? A new school year really demonstrates how time is marching by, you know? Whatever it is, I know it will pass and you will get back on track.
Count your blessings today, think about how much you love yourself and how much you deserve to be healthy and fit -- and you do!
Hang in there, Dottie. We all get down in the dumps from time to time. I've been struggling lately, too. But... struggling is not synonymous with "failing." It's just a part of life.
I do hope the disciple class strengthens you in every way. And I'm rooting for you! You are not alone... and I'm right here fighting the fight with you. :)
Sending hugs your way! Sorry you are in a funk and that the scale crept up on you. I write everything down and that helps me be accountable - I love using www.calorieking.com - its free too!
Hang in there!
Sending lots of hugs your way Dottie! I can relate, I know it's not easy, but you CAN do it. You have already done fantastic.
Hang in there girl!
Hi Dottie -- just checking in with you. I hope you are doing OK. Give us an update whenever you find a free minute, I'd love to hear from you.
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