Mojo Where'd You Go?

The weightloss sucks lately and I having nobody or nothing to blame but myself.  My diet has not been perfect...although it hasn't been completely horrible either.  But, there's been some treats in there that probably shouldn't be.  Namely...chocolate.  I'm not trying to use anything as an excuse. It is what it is.  During that TOM, I get some pretty serious cravings for chocolate and I've yet figured out how to work through them.  Luckily, I indulge in a small piece or two - I don't eat a whole bag or bar or anything.

On top of that, last few days I seem to have lost my mojo.  My drive...where o where did it go?  I have been doing some exercise each day, but my heart isn't it.  It's like an emotionless robot just going through the steps.  If my heart were in it, I think it'd be a better workout. 

In trying to understand all this, I got to thinking.  In looking at the date, I realize that tomorrow, March 26 would be my mom's 62nd birthday.  She's been gone now for 5 years.  And perhaps it is this that is causing me to feel such lack of motivation.  Even sadness at times.  I have found myself off crying somewhere more than once this week.  So much goes through my head.  It's difficult too because I don't have many friends in my real life world.  I have my husband and kids and that's pretty much it.  I go to work, I come home...not much of a social life.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm over the top grateful for my husband and kids and feel that I'm truly blessed with them.  I thank the good Lord everyday for them. But sometimes, it would be nice to share a conversation with a friend or have coffee (or tea) and chat the morning away.  I don't have that.  Sometimes I find that this is more difficult for me to handle than at most other times. I don't know why that is either.  I do have a few friends that I've made online through You Tube and Facebook and I'm ever so grateful for those as well.  Sometimes though, a real life hug is what sounds good and I think would help make me feel better.

My best friend lives in Norway...that's worlds away from my little town here in Michigan, USA.  Many times I wish I could give/receive a hug in person.  I have hopes that one day we'll be able to meet.  Outside my husband and kids, this friend has been an amazing support and I'm so glad that God has graced my life so richly. 

I intend to continue working through all these emotions and get my mojo back.  I think that'll help get the weightloss back in motion too.  I have actually gained some and am back to 260 :(  Sad face. 

I will get to onederland.  I will.  Despite all these emotions... I still am very much determined!

Love to all. Have a fabulous weekend.

♥ Dottie