Does anybody read this? Really...I'm curious. Please leave a comment and let me know.
I can't believe it's already been one week since my dad passed away. I can't believe that in one week, it'll be Thanksgiving day. Time is sure flying. I can honestly say...I don't like it. Why can't we slow the clocks down a bit? I think things are backwards. It seems the older we get, the faster time flies. Not that I would want my childhood to fly by either. But I think as we get older, time should slow down. We slow down...time should slow down. Really!
I've been somewhat beating myself up over the fact that I didn't spend much time with my dad. I got busy with our own schedules of raising kids, getting them to practices, etc. as well as getting to our own job everyday. He only lived a little over 20 miles away and yet I only saw him a few times a year. Sad really. At the same time, I'm thinking that keeping my distance has made dealing with his death a tad easier. I hope that doesn't sound too sick. I hope you understand what I mean when I say that. When Christmas and his birthday come around...it'll be waaaayyyy tougher.
We didn't have the greatest relationship, but still I don't think my dad would want me to beat myself up like that. He would want me to go about living and enjoy my own life that I have left. Make the most of it because one never knows when the end will come. I don't even want to think about that. Both my parents passed away at a young age...too young if you ask me. My mom passed in 2006. She was a month away from turning 57. My dad was 61. I'm 40 years old. I really really hope that I can be around a lot longer than 21 years from now. I hope to enjoy grand children some day and even great grand children some day. It would be lovely to have experiences like my great grandparents did. They were near 90 or just over 90 when they passed away. They got to know great grandchildren (me!) and even great-great grandchildren....my kids. How wonderful is that. They led a very wonderful life, married over 70 years..they truly had the type of life I dream of. They worked hard for what they had...for sure. My great-grandfather started Michigan Bulb Company...it was a very successful business for a long time. Sadly, his son had no interest in taking over the family business so it was sold. My great-grandpa had super investment skills and they didn't suffer financially in their retirement. They traveled around the world. They had homes in Michigan, Florida and even Mexico for a while. I wish I had the type of skill he did.
I'd absolutely love it if my husband and I could start our own business. What an adventure that would be. But, we are so financially drained that there's no way it could happen. It's my husband's dream though and I'd love to see that dream come true for him. I would just love to not struggle so much financially. I would like to know that my retirement years will be comfortable. I would like to be able to help my kids (financially) if they need it in the future. The thought that we struggle so much and would have to say no to my kids just hurts. I need to learn how to invest. Yes!?
I've been at my current job for 22 years now. And I've only got just over $9,000 in a 401K because I've had to borrow from it in the past. Yes...that sucks. But at least the money was there when we needed it so badly.
I realize that I shouldn't complain too much though because there are many out there who are much worse off. I pray daily that people are provided their needs. I truly am thankful for that which I do have. I've had plenty of trials in life, but I can't complain too much about that. They pale in comparison to that of others.
It is a time of thanksgiving. But really...I'm thankful each and every day. Sure, there are things I'd like. I am human. But I am truly grateful for my life, my family and those few friends that are there for me.
What are you thankful for? Let me know.
Peace - Love - Smiles
♥ Dottie
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